La Ascension II: Robert Ingersoll

Tengo cierta obsesión con La Ascensión de Jesús, porque, de las muchas ridiculeces que aparecen en el Nuevo Testamento, me parece de las más ridículas. Basicamente la idea es que, cuando Jesús ascenció delante de los apóstoles, a donde demonios iba?. Al Cielo (con mayúscula) no, porque ahí arriba sólo hay espacio vació. Pero esta es la clase de cuento que escribiría alguien que vivía en un época en la que se creía que el Cielo estaba ahí arriba.

Resulta que Ingersoll ya se dio cuenta de esto hace mucho:

"After the story of the resurrection, the Ascension became a necessity. They had to dispose of the body." ... "I cannot believe in the miracle of the ascension of Jesus Christ. Where was he going? In the light shed upon this question by the telescope, I again ask, where was he going? The New Jerusalem is not above us. The abode of the gods is not there. Where was he going? Which way did he go? Of course that depends upon the time of day he left. If he left in the evening, he went exactly the opposite way from that he would have gone had he ascended in the morning. What did he do with his body? How high did he go? In what way did he overcome the intense cold? The nearest station is the moon, two hundred and forty thousand miles away. Again I ask, where did he go? He must have had a natural body, for it was the same body that died. His body must have been material, otherwise he would not as he rose have circled the earth, and he would have passed from the sight of his disciples at the rate of more than a thousand miles per hour."

...

"Matthew says nothing upon the subject. Either Matthew was not there, had never heard of the ascension, -- or, having heard of it, did not believe it, or having seen it, thought it too unimportant to record. To this wonder of wonders Mark devotes one verse: 'So then, after the Lord had spoken unto them, he was received up into heaven, and sat on the right-hand of God.' Can we believe that this verse was written by one who witnessed the ascension of Jesus Christ; by one who watched his Master slowly rising through the air till distance riffed him from his tearful sight? Luke, another of the witnesses, says: 'And it came to pass, while he blessed them, he was parted from them, and carried up into heaven.' John corroborates Matthew by saying nothing on the subject. Now, we find that the last chapter of Mark, after the eighth verse, is an interpolation; so that Mark really says nothing about the occurrence. Either the ascension of Christ must be given up, or it must be admitted that the witnesses do not agree, and that three of them never heard of that most stupendous event."

Hari Seldon.